


I wonder what that must be like

by thylekshran



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Gen, Trans Lesbian Dary, just a little gender feels work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-12-26 10:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18281342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thylekshran/pseuds/thylekshran
Summary: Well like- like wouldn't you wanna know how it feels? Bein’ a gal?





	1. Gap Dream

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some stuff I've been writing on the train lately about trans lesbian Dary and his thought process as he comes out. I don't really know if or how often I'll be writing it but he's a really important character to me so I wanted some content where he's a lesbian.
> 
> Full disclaimer that I myself am not a trans woman, though I am an nb butch. I hope it still comes across that this is intended to be an earnest piece about how lesbians relate to gender regardless of their CAGAB.
> 
> I'm also a big city American so I may butcher the slang, apologies in advance.

“No, no, Dary, that's for girls!”

“That's for girls, Dary.”

“You can't go around smelling like pretty girls!”

“You're not wearing it right now, are you?”

And Dary reckons he looks pertnear ghostly, seein as he didn't mean to say that out loud but his mouth always was faster'n his brain and his thoughts weren't always so smart to start with.

“Cologne is too expensive, I just use sunscreen. Banana Boat.”

He's sweet on girls and all, so he doesn't figger he's gay like Glen, but sometimes when he talks to Dan about ‘em it's different. Like, the way Dan feels about girls versus the way he feels about ‘em. Course, Dan takes that women's studies class so he's real respectful and such but he doesn't think about ‘em like- well like- like wouldn't you wanna know how it feels? Bein’ a gal?

When he mentions it to Wayne he just gets that blinky thing Wayne does when he don't know what to say, but also there was the time he wanted to get compliments on his eyelashes and fuck if that isn't sorta what Dary's tryin' to say, in a way. He never much cared for the kind a’ compliments gals gave him and he thinks it might be nice to hear the kind that he gives them instead.

He’d sure like to talk to Katy about it since she’s bisexual so she'd prob'ly have the answer but he's not even sure what the question is to start with so she'd assume he's flirtin' and smack him, most likely. Not that he’s ever tryin’ to but there's been some misunderstandings so he does his best to steer clear of talkin’ about romance or toe curling ‘round her these days.

“Figger it out,” he mumbles to himself. He takes a peek-see at Wayne and he's givin’ him some kinda look but he had Stewart and those nut sac hockey players beakin’ about him bein’ gay over the weekend so he guesses Wayne's worried somethin’ similar might happen to him ‘cept Dary's not nearly so handy in a scrap so he'd have no way to stop ‘em. The whole situation is startin’ to make him feel a mite stressed when Wayne cuts in.

“Let's get into some of those fuckin’ all dressed chips.”

And that's as good an out as any, he supposes.


	2. Solitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dary's alone at MoDean's II and finds someone else all alone who might be able to give him some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again for any mistakes in slang or regional grammar.

He tries to put it outta mind. He's been sorta awkward long as he can remember and Wayne'd back that assertion up likely so there's no sense lingering on just one more way'n which he don't fit in nowhere quite right. ‘Sides maybe it is normal after all, not like he can read minds to know if what he's feelin’ is odd er just bein’ shy ‘bout gals.

When the uni kids come home he n’ Wayne n' Dan say they're gonna try to get up to a little toe curlin’ for money on their bar tab though Dary ‘spects Gail’s just tryin’ to push up on Wayne some more cuz she’s never let an opportunity slip by her to tell ‘im she wants his hard drive runnin’ her operatin’ system. He feels a little strange lookin' at girls in bars it's why he tried goin’ steady with a church girl it felt much more appropriate. But that had been strange too cuz they way they talked about gay folks in the church was so cruel and Glen was right there bein’ gayer than Wayne was by bein’ on Tinder and not puttin’ any stop to the talk and nobody seemed to take notice of him bein’ gay neither so Dary broke up with her right quick.

So he goes about things and don't think much more on it, and it gets real busy anyway what with Tanis burnin’ things down and then degens from up country droppin’ in to pick up where she left off. Course he don't stop thinkin’ about girls cuz between Tanis and Anik and Bonnie there's a lotta them around that he's real sweet on even though he's not good lookin’ enough to get ‘em.

The next time he has a real good think on it is when Bonnie invites ‘em to her hot tub and Katy's flirtin’ with her. He's not thinkin’ anything inappropriate cuz it ain't polite to think about other people's relationships like that ‘specially not two girls who ain't flirting with you, Wayne pertnear killed a degen for sayin’ just the nastiest things about Katy and another gal a few years back and he'd never think nothin’ like that and Katy's more like a sister anyways, but he does get to considerin’ how when girls are tryin’ to attract other girls it’s not how guys’ll do it. He always tries to do the kinda things Dan'd do or sometimes Wayne though Wayne never has trouble gettin’ gals on just his looks like Dary does but, like, the thought of girls flirtin’ with him how Katy's flirtin' right now makes his heart flutter fer a second and weren't that a peculiar reaction to have?

And it sticks in his head after that so he can't forget about it again even though it's real confusing. He wishes he were book smart like Dan but when he leaves one of his women's studies books on the kitchen table n’ Dary takes a look he can't understand what it's sayin’ more’n half the time. Like, it's in English but it might as well be French fer all he knows.

He's startin’ to worry he will hafta go to Katy, cuz Glen'd blab it all over town and he doesn't know who else he could talk to, and it prob'ly wouldn't be so bad, talkin’ to Katy ‘bout it, but he’s still kinda scared of tellin’ any of his friends cuz he's already the soft one. It ain't logical cause they think homophobes is degens more'n anyone but nobody ever says that fear comes from the logical parts of a brain now do they?

Well anyhow it weighs heavy on him for a few months ‘til September rolls around and he's down at MoDean's II all by his lonesome which is a rare happenin’ usually Wayne n’ Dan come with but Wayne is off chorin' cuz he’s cut up about Rosie and Dan’s visitin’ his family. And apparently he's not the only one outta his comfort zone today cuz he sees that curly haired skid skulkin’ in a corner without Stewart lookin’ just the saddest you ever did see a guy look and he remembers this skid is gay also so he could try askin’ him. Since Stewart ain't here maybe he'd be willin' to keep it to himself, it always was Stewart instigatin’ things like eggin’ Dary on his bike and like, he always figures gay dudes have some kinda secret friendship ‘tween ‘em all cuz Glen seems to know this skid pretty good even though he’s always sayin’ drugs are a sin.

When he makes his way over to the skid he gives Dary a look n’ Dary’s sure he's gonna hiss at him and he’s questionin’ his judgement in talkin’ to a skid about somethin’ personal like this, he's fuckin’ spare parts but Dary's in need. But he doesn't hiss so that's a good sign.

“What's yer name again?”

“Roald.”

“Where's yer greasy overlord there Roald?”

He averts his eyes and whimpers. “Stewart wished to spend his evening in solitude.”

“You wishin’ for solitude too?”

“No.” He turns his eyes back up to Dary n’ he’s somewhere between confused n’ scared and Dary sure can relate to that, never thought he'd be relatin’ to a skid but that’s the way the Gus'n'Bru goes now n’ again.

“Well,” Dary says, and sits himself down across from Roald. “I ain't too fond of it myself so I'll join ya.”

“Alright.” He's still eyein’ him with a bit of suspicion but Dary figgers that's fair, he was a mite unkind talkin’ about Stewart that way even if Stewart's always been unkind to him too.

No sense drawin’ this conversation out too much though cuz he doesn't wanna get cold feet, it's a risk he's takin’ here and it's mostly cuz he's fuckin’ hammered and who knows when that'll wear off so he just goes right fer the point. “I got a question fer ya.”

“Ulterior motives,” Roald sneers and then he pauses and Dary realizes he's playin’ one half of the part he’s usually playin’ with Stewart but the bastard's left the poor kid out in the cold here and he sees when Roald realizes too cuz his shoulders fall a little ‘fore he defensively gets his hackles up again. Maybe it's the Puppers talkin’ but Dary could pertnear cry cuz if he didn't have Wayne he'd prob'ly be closer to Roald than further and he’s an empathetic type irregardless.

“I'm just lookin’ fer yer expertise cuz none of my pals know anythin’ about it.”

“Drugs?” Roald perks up. “Breakdancing?”

“I do love dancin’ but-” Dary glances over his shoulder. “That's not what I'm talkin’ about.”

A grin spreads across Roald's face as it hits him. “Are you  _ gay _ ?”

“Well- I dunno. What's it like to be gay?”

“Awesome!” Roald says, and it's real charmingly earnest. “I mean, sometimes it's really difficult, but being out is like being on the best drug ever.” He thinks for a second. “A drug is actually a pretty good metaphor cuz occasionally you come down and remember that your parents don't speak to you anymore… but the high is worth it.”

Dary considers him. He never thought much about the skids lives outside'a bein’ meth heads ‘cept for how Katy used to go to Stewart's parties in high school so he n’ Wayne would hang around to make sure she got home safe so he'd met Stewart's mom a few times. But it didn't occur to him to think much on the families of the other skids and it kinda hurts his heart to think about Roald not havin’ a family anymore. Course his own parents kicked the bucket years ago but he's always had Wayne n’ Katy n’ Dan and they were better'n family really they were like a part of him. He exposes it makes sense Roald'd be so attached to Stewart given all that he prob'ly feels the same ‘cept even worse cuz his parents are still alive and just not givin’ him the time of day just cuz he's gay.

But all that wonderin’ ends up givin’ him a fright again cuz what would he do without Wayne? And he's been quiet too long now cuz Roald's fidgeting discomfortably.

“Well so- I should try bein’ sweet on a guy?”

“If you're not already into men, why do you think you're gay?”

“I- well- I like girls. But I wanna be- like a girl? And since I ain't a girl, wouldn't that make me gay?”

Roald suddenly looks serious and that's somehow even more frightful fer Dary.

“What?”

“If you want to be a woman, you can be one.”

“Whattya mean?”

But before Roald can answer that, Stewart appears in the doorway and he jumps to his feet. “Stewart!” He chirps the name out joyfully, throwing an apologetic look Dary's way before scurryin’ away to join his friend. His family.

That conversation was more confusin’ than helpful, really, but Dary's still kinda glad he had it if just fer knowin’ Roald a little better. Maybe he can be a friend someday and he won't be so dependant on Stewart cuz he don't treat Roald how he deserves to be treated and everyone should have a lovin’ family.

But in the meantime Dary’s still got a mystery on his hands.


End file.
